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Ocean of tears
my bed isn't a bed anymore
it's an ocean, filled with my tears
i try to be as positive as i can
but i have too many fears
My tears could fill a whole lake
A lake with great storms on it
I don't wanna be like this anymore
Not even a bit
This ocean has waves as high as the walls i build around me
I don't wanna live like this, I wanna be free
Free as a cricket in a field
A bird in the sky
Who could fly anywhere in the air
Oh man this isn't fair
They can go wherever they wanna go
And I'm stuck here on this island
The island in the ocean
The ocean filled with tears
Susan be strong.
Your whole life long...
Life can be hard...
...but that's also a life's part.
I know you can handle this very good.
But that it still can be difficult? That's understood!
Susan you can make it : you also can turn this:
By thinking of the good moments with the one you miss.
Try to have good feelings of that one's life,
although the feeling of loosing the one can cut you like a knife...
Just try to have a good feeling over your moms life,
your mum should have wished that cause she sure was a good wife....
Over het gedicht:
Over het verlies van een moeder van een penvriendin.
Een gedicht om haar een hart onder haar riem te steken....
Sometimes I see that little carefree girl again.
It breaks my heart when I see how she has become the girl she is now.
Things that never should've happen, happened.
That twinkle in her eyes, that big smile on her face, gone.
That big magical world full of colours, rainbows,
happiness, beauty, now seems never to have existed.
She learned about people, how they turned out to be.
She believed in second chances, trusted people who can't be trusted,
gave people her heart who didn't deserve it.
Again and again, she got hurt so many times.
And the worst thing was, nobody seemed to care. Everything changed.
She grew up, saw the hate, fear, cheats, grief and impotence.
It made her afraid, she started to build her own little world.
Closed everything and everyone outside to protect herself.
You can run for destiny, but not for yourself.
The loneliness came in and it didn't go away anymore.
There was no happiness in her life, not anymore.
Most of the time she wants to give up or prays for someone to kill her.
But there's that small little light, that says she can't,
that would go against everything she stands for.
Do you really know me, or are you just thinking that?
Just try to look me deep in my eyes, read my mind..
Do you see me as a smiling, happy girl? Or did you look very good..
Because if you did , you'll see that I'm just pretending.
That I ain't that happy as you think I am.
Instead of that, you would see a girl that slowly breaks inside.
And if you really knew me..
You would know some things that only one person knows,
that I'm hiding the best I can..
But I don't think many know me that well..
When you look at me from a little distance,
you'll see a very happy smiling girl.
But if you come a little closer,
and look a little better,
you'll see two sad eyes and a fake smile..
When you look inside a girls heart,
you'd see how much she really cries.
You'll find hidden secrets, best friends and lies..
But what you'll see the most ..
is how hard it is to stay strong..
when nothing's right and everything's wrong
So much thoughts in my mind
wish I could shut them up
Problems with no solutions
gathering like leaves in a forrest
How to solve them I don't know
For every way out,
there's another dead end
The future is clouded, impossible to see
all I want is for something, someone to stand by me
Because I know if I don't get help
I will drown in my misery
World That Breaks
I see it everyday
We say it's only living
Like life is only pain
I see heartbreak on every face
Hurt we can't erase
Dreams that fade away
Like we're all just lost at sea
In a world that aches
In a world that breaks
All I’m thinking about is you
I think about everything you were
And everything you were going to be
If destiny hadn’t been so cruel
Think of all the years
I have to live without you
I didn’t need to live without you
If destiny hadn’t been so bitter
Just playing with your friends
Out on the street
Nothing would’ve happened
If destiny hadn’t been so brutal
Your ball rolled on the street
And you went after it, very normal
That car wouldn’t have been there
If destiny hadn’t been so merciless
I was too late to save you
I called your name, but you didn’t hear me
You would’ve heard me
If destiny hadn’t been so vicious
Nothing we could do to save you
You died playing with your friends
You wouldn’t have died
If destiny hadn’t been so hard
Time ticks on, but I don’t notice
Days have past, but I don’t care
The one I cared about the most, isn’t here anymore
Because destiny was so cruel
I'm completely disconnected
Like everything I've ever loved is coming down
I'm drowning in emotion
In the middle of the ocean
Never knowing when it's over and I'm going down
Hold your head up high
Hold your head up high
You're never wrong
Somewhere in the right you belong
You would rather fight than walk away
What a lonely way to breathe the air
What another lovely way to say you care
Now we're too far gone for me to say
And I never thought that we'd come to this
Searching for the truth in your eyes
Found myself so lost to recognize
The person now that you, you claim to be
Don't know when to stop, where to start
You're just so caught up to who you are
Now you're far too high for me to see
I'd never thought that we'd come to this
Maybe there's beauty in goodbye
There just no reason left to try
You push me away
Another black day
I count up the reasons to cry
Look what you've missed, living like this
You never say you're sorry
Try to tell me that you love me
But don't, its too late to take it there
All those tears
You hurt me and you know it,
but the thing that you didn't know
that al those tears are
because you hurt me so bad,
all those tears and i still love you..
You don't know
Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong..
And no one understands you?
Do you ever want to run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up loud..
When no one hears you screaming?
No, you don't know what is to be like me...
I’m going under
Suddenly i know I’m not sleeping
Hello I’m still here
All that’s left of yesterday
I’m going under
Drowning in you....
I’m falling forever
I’ve got to break through
I’m going under
I just wanna die
I just wanna die..
Go to hell and don't feel the pain I feel right now..
Never feel the pain anymore that I felt all my life..
And just be in rest..
So everybody is happy..
Close my eyes.
I can't close my eyes...
I'm so afraid...
afraid of everything...
my words are so cold...
I even don't know I can breathe...
I get weak..
I'm still fallin
Im not the girl...
I’m not the girl u think I am…
I’m the girl who always wears a mask
A mask to hide her feelings and emotions
A mask which only shows the bright side
To make her feel better when she is sad
I’m the girl who never shows her emotions
Afraid for the reactions of the people
Afraid to look foolish and stupid
Afraid to be not wanted
I’m the girl who wants to die
To not trouble her friends anymore
To not make people hurt and cry
I’m the girl who cuts her hands
I’m not the girl I think I am…
but it's going better now.. :)
Don't ask me why
but I have to go
Dont dare to cry
I'm not worth your tears
I hate my life
hate my heart
hate the person who I am
hate my soul
hate the world I'm living in
hate my room
hate the place I am
hate the words I hear
hate the things I have done
hate the pain that I'm in
Hate those tears who are falling
Why am I fighting to live if I 'm just living to fight?
Why am I trying to see when there ain't nothing in sight?
Why am I trying to give when no one gives me a try?
Why am I dying to live if I'm just living to die?